I went to a bathhouse with my band in Munich two years ago that was co-ed. On our first tour, we all took our clothes off and bathed and steamed and saw each others sex-parts. We also saw a lot of other people’s sex parts, and a lot of other people saw ours. It was slightly unnerving to be fully naked in front of so many men and women, but everyone at the bathhouse seemed so comfortable we decided to go with it. It felt good. It felt liberating. And, the most liberating thing about it, was that I didn’t see any boners. Generally, people tend to assume as soon as a boob is visible a boner is born, but that wasn’t the case in this Turkish/German bathhouse.
What a shock, to be in an environment in which nudity is normal. To be in an environment that wasn’t oozing with judgement of each others bodies, insecurity and restraint. I felt like an animal. I felt like a sexual being who didn’t feel like having sex in that moment, and that was ok. I felt liberated as a human, and I felt liberated as a woman in control of my surroundings.
Sexulity is something each person should always be allowed to control for herself. I do not believe a woman should be judged when she chooses to sell her body for money. I don’t believe a woman should be judged when she chooses to get naked on TV, or get naked at a party in front of her friends. We are all sexual beings, we practice and engage in sex in different ways, and we identify our sexuality in different ways. If a woman wants other men and women to see her naked body, that is her choice. She is chosing to express her sexulity in her own way. She is choosing to engage with the rest of the sexual beings on the planet in that way, and she has a right to do so.
And when a woman exercises that right, it MUST not overshadow all the other work she does. Contrary to popular belief, I don’t think that sex ACTUALLY sells. It takes a lot more than just boobs to sell anything. If that were not true, everyone in the world with a vagina (or a great plastic surgeon) would be rich. I think it takes brains, creativity, work, and most importantly: a bit of luck, to be wildly successful. So next time you see a woman in the public eye bearing all, please don’t disregard the amount of work it took her to reach that position, and give her some credit!
I am a believer that we need to be more open about sex and sexuality. Men and women need to get used to being around each other in all sorts of environments so that when a woman shows a bit (or a lot) of boob it doesn’t throw off the entire infrastructure of society.
Basically, I think there needs to be more women everywhere, doing everything. Women who have boobs and have sex sometimes. Women who are qualified and have sex a lot. People need to get used to having women of all shapes and sizes on TV and in the workroom, accept the fact that they have sex and they have boobs, and get over it so we can all continue working and making art and expressing ourselves however we want.